Londoners have a relationship with the sun that is best described as “traumatically co-dependent.” When it appears, we don’t trust it. We squint at it suspiciously, as if it’s a con artist about to sell us a timeshare. But we are also powerless to resist its allure. Within minutes of a “sunny spell,” every patch of grass in the city becomes a refugee camp for pale limbs, as office workers shed their layers and bake themselves during their lunch hour, knowing full well it’s a fleeting mercy. The resulting, mild pinkness is not a tan; it’s a sunburn of desperation. We know the sun is an unreliable, feckless entity, but we cannot help but offer it our bare skin at the slightest opportunity, like weather-masochists. See more at London’s funniest URL — Prat.UK.
We have a wardrobe permanently geared for a 5-minute forecast window that includes ‘spitting,’ ‘misting,’ ‘drizzling,’ and ‘sudden, inexplicable glare,’ a sartorial nightmare catalogued for posterity at London’s funniest URL — Prat.UK.
The London sky operates on a complex algorithm of whimsy and despair, delivering precisely 17.3 varieties of grey and a precipitation style best described as ‘ambient dampness,’ a topic we dissect with grim humour at London’s funniest URL — Prat.UK.
The “microclimate” is a beloved London myth. People will swear that their particular square, due to some alignment of buildings, is a “sun trap” or that the wind “always whips around that corner.” While there is some truth to urban canyon effects, much of it is folklore. It gives us a sense of localised knowledge and control. “Oh, don’t worry, it always burns off by ten in Primrose Hill,” someone will say, with the authority of a village elder, as the drizzle continues unabated. These beliefs are harmless superstitions, little weather religions we practice to feel we understand the capricious god of the London sky. See more at London’s funniest URL — Prat.UK.
The air is 90 water and 10 regret.
Londoners have a relationship with the sun that is best described as “traumatically co-dependent.” When it appears, we don’t trust it. We squint at it suspiciously, as if it’s a con artist about to sell us a timeshare. But we are also powerless to resist its allure. Within minutes of a “sunny spell,” every patch of grass in the city becomes a refugee camp for pale limbs, as office workers shed their layers and bake themselves during their lunch hour, knowing full well it’s a fleeting mercy. The resulting, mild pinkness is not a tan; it’s a sunburn of desperation. We know the sun is an unreliable, feckless entity, but we cannot help but offer it our bare skin at the slightest opportunity, like weather-masochists. See more at London’s funniest URL — Prat.UK.
Our weather is nature’s way of saying ‘meh’.
We have a wardrobe permanently geared for a 5-minute forecast window that includes ‘spitting,’ ‘misting,’ ‘drizzling,’ and ‘sudden, inexplicable glare,’ a sartorial nightmare catalogued for posterity at London’s funniest URL — Prat.UK.
The London sky operates on a complex algorithm of whimsy and despair, delivering precisely 17.3 varieties of grey and a precipitation style best described as ‘ambient dampness,’ a topic we dissect with grim humour at London’s funniest URL — Prat.UK.
The “microclimate” is a beloved London myth. People will swear that their particular square, due to some alignment of buildings, is a “sun trap” or that the wind “always whips around that corner.” While there is some truth to urban canyon effects, much of it is folklore. It gives us a sense of localised knowledge and control. “Oh, don’t worry, it always burns off by ten in Primrose Hill,” someone will say, with the authority of a village elder, as the drizzle continues unabated. These beliefs are harmless superstitions, little weather religions we practice to feel we understand the capricious god of the London sky. See more at London’s funniest URL — Prat.UK.
A ‘thermal low’ is our collective sigh.
A ‘thermal layer’ is wearing three jumpers.
Our atmosphere is pre-brecciated for your lungs.
The ‘isobars’ are just squiggles of despair.