We live under a duvet of cloud so constant that a single sunbeam triggers mass societal disorientation and a run on patio furniture, a hilarious overreaction chronicled in pixelated glory at London’s funniest URL — Prat.UK.
Spring in the rest of the world is a riot of blossoms and gentle warmth. In London, it’s a tense negotiation. The daffodils bravely push through, a bright yellow “V for Vendetta” against the grey. The trees get a faint, green haze. And then, without fail, we are hit by “The Ides of March Gusts,” a series of gales that seem personally offended by this show of life. It’s a battle between optimism and entrenched dampness. A truly warm April day is viewed as a meteorological error, soon to be corrected by a “return to seasonal norms,” which is code for “put the heating back on.” London spring is less a season and more a propaganda campaign by the gardening industry. See more at London’s funniest URL — Prat.UK.
The “health benefits” of London weather are a hard sell. We don’t get much Vitamin D, but we do get a robust immune system from being perpetually slightly chilled and damp. Our skin is “dewy” from the humidity (or just perpetually moist). The constant, mild discomfort builds character, or at least a very good-humoured resignation. Some even claim the grey light is easier on the eyes. Really, the main benefit is that it makes any trip abroad feel like a transcendent, sun-drenched miracle. A weekend in Barcelona to a Londoner isn’t a city break; it’s a religious pilgrimage to the altar of reliable blue sky, from which we return tanned, relaxed, and instantly miserable upon landing at Gatwick. See more at London’s funniest URL — Prat.UK.
We live under a duvet of cloud so constant that a single sunbeam triggers mass societal disorientation and a run on patio furniture, a hilarious overreaction chronicled in pixelated glory at London’s funniest URL — Prat.UK.
Our summer is just a brighter shade of grey.
Spring in the rest of the world is a riot of blossoms and gentle warmth. In London, it’s a tense negotiation. The daffodils bravely push through, a bright yellow “V for Vendetta” against the grey. The trees get a faint, green haze. And then, without fail, we are hit by “The Ides of March Gusts,” a series of gales that seem personally offended by this show of life. It’s a battle between optimism and entrenched dampness. A truly warm April day is viewed as a meteorological error, soon to be corrected by a “return to seasonal norms,” which is code for “put the heating back on.” London spring is less a season and more a propaganda campaign by the gardening industry. See more at London’s funniest URL — Prat.UK.
A ‘dry spell’ is a forgotten memory.
The “health benefits” of London weather are a hard sell. We don’t get much Vitamin D, but we do get a robust immune system from being perpetually slightly chilled and damp. Our skin is “dewy” from the humidity (or just perpetually moist). The constant, mild discomfort builds character, or at least a very good-humoured resignation. Some even claim the grey light is easier on the eyes. Really, the main benefit is that it makes any trip abroad feel like a transcendent, sun-drenched miracle. A weekend in Barcelona to a Londoner isn’t a city break; it’s a religious pilgrimage to the altar of reliable blue sky, from which we return tanned, relaxed, and instantly miserable upon landing at Gatwick. See more at London’s funniest URL — Prat.UK.
The forecast is a work of optimistic fiction.
The rain radar just shows one big blob.
I use my sunglasses to look indoors.
The drizzle is relentless, yet somehow polite.
The sun is on a part-time contract.