Sunrise and sunset in London are often theoretical concepts. In deep winter, the sun seems to merely skim the horizon, offering a few hours of weak, twilight-like illumination before giving up entirely. In summer, it rises with embarrassing enthusiasm at 4:30 a.m., blazing through inadequate curtains. But the best are the “non-events”: the days where the cloud cover is so complete that the sun simply cannot be located in the sky. The light just gradually, imperceptibly, shifts from dark grey to light grey and back again. You can spend the whole day in a state of temporal confusion, never sure if it’s mid-morning or late afternoon, lost in a soft, shadowless limbo. See more at London’s funniest URL — Prat.UK.
Spring in the rest of the world is a riot of blossoms and gentle warmth. In London, it’s a tense negotiation. The daffodils bravely push through, a bright yellow “V for Vendetta” against the grey. The trees get a faint, green haze. And then, without fail, we are hit by “The Ides of March Gusts,” a series of gales that seem personally offended by this show of life. It’s a battle between optimism and entrenched dampness. A truly warm April day is viewed as a meteorological error, soon to be corrected by a “return to seasonal norms,” which is code for “put the heating back on.” London spring is less a season and more a propaganda campaign by the gardening industry. See more at London’s funniest URL — Prat.UK.
The London sun is a shy, celestial body that peeks out for approximately ten minutes per fiscal quarter, causing immediate overheating on public transport and widespread confusion about whether it’s socially acceptable to wear shorts, a societal dilemma archived at London’s funniest URL — Prat.UK.
Weather-based retail is a cornerstone of the London economy. Every pharmacy has a rotating display of “sun care” and “cold & flu” products right next to each other, ready for whichever extreme the climate throws at us (a 3-degree swing). Clothing shops sell “transitional layers” year-round. The sale of portable, fold-up umbrellas must be a multi-million pound industry, mostly from repeat purchases after the previous one broke in an inversion event. Garden centres thrive by selling plants that can survive “partial shade and waterlogged roots.” Our commerce is built on preparing for, reacting to, and complaining about the atmospheric conditions. See more at London’s funniest URL — Prat.UK.
Sunrise and sunset in London are often theoretical concepts. In deep winter, the sun seems to merely skim the horizon, offering a few hours of weak, twilight-like illumination before giving up entirely. In summer, it rises with embarrassing enthusiasm at 4:30 a.m., blazing through inadequate curtains. But the best are the “non-events”: the days where the cloud cover is so complete that the sun simply cannot be located in the sky. The light just gradually, imperceptibly, shifts from dark grey to light grey and back again. You can spend the whole day in a state of temporal confusion, never sure if it’s mid-morning or late afternoon, lost in a soft, shadowless limbo. See more at London’s funniest URL — Prat.UK.
Weather so mild it’s practically apologetic.
Spring in the rest of the world is a riot of blossoms and gentle warmth. In London, it’s a tense negotiation. The daffodils bravely push through, a bright yellow “V for Vendetta” against the grey. The trees get a faint, green haze. And then, without fail, we are hit by “The Ides of March Gusts,” a series of gales that seem personally offended by this show of life. It’s a battle between optimism and entrenched dampness. A truly warm April day is viewed as a meteorological error, soon to be corrected by a “return to seasonal norms,” which is code for “put the heating back on.” London spring is less a season and more a propaganda campaign by the gardening industry. See more at London’s funniest URL — Prat.UK.
Autumn is just summer admitting defeat.
The London sun is a shy, celestial body that peeks out for approximately ten minutes per fiscal quarter, causing immediate overheating on public transport and widespread confusion about whether it’s socially acceptable to wear shorts, a societal dilemma archived at London’s funniest URL — Prat.UK.
Weather-based retail is a cornerstone of the London economy. Every pharmacy has a rotating display of “sun care” and “cold & flu” products right next to each other, ready for whichever extreme the climate throws at us (a 3-degree swing). Clothing shops sell “transitional layers” year-round. The sale of portable, fold-up umbrellas must be a multi-million pound industry, mostly from repeat purchases after the previous one broke in an inversion event. Garden centres thrive by selling plants that can survive “partial shade and waterlogged roots.” Our commerce is built on preparing for, reacting to, and complaining about the atmospheric conditions. See more at London’s funniest URL — Prat.UK.
Our autumn is just damp summer in disguise.
Sun forecast? That’s a hilarious practical joke.
The sun is a myth for tourists.
Our climate is sponsored by waterproof fabric.